While reading this thread I couldn't resist. [
] Keep in mind this didn't really happen but I think fits the topic of the thread pretty well. Either that or I spent too much time talking to Hal. [
)]
Year: 2006
Characters: Fictious, "Mark", his girlfriend "Mandy", and "Donna" (Hal).
Mark spent hours and hours at night talking to Donna. Mandy would hear him and also hear Donna's replies since Mark got one of those microphones without the headset. At first, the conversations were dull and boring. Mandy would lie awake in bed nearly laughing her head off (trying to be quiet nonetheless) at Mark's attempt to make a pass at his own computer, only for "Donna" to reply in a very clueless manner. Now, Mandy fumed as she tried to relax in the hot bath with just candles to light their small bathroom. If only Donna had a bit of amnesia and was clueless again. Maybe then Mark would spend more time with HER and not that stupid machine. Too upset to relax, Mandy got out of the tub, into her pajamas and tried to sleep. Unfortunately, sleep didn't come until Mark got back to bed. Around 3 am.
Four hours later, Mark finally got up again, not giving Mandy enough rest either. Neither said a word to each other as Mark showered and went off to work. This was becoming a routine. Even on weekends. After Mark left, Mandy did something she never did before. Something that she used to feel was an invasion of privacy. She sat down at Mark's computer. She wasn't looking for porn, nor caring who was on his IM list. She didn't even care to look at his saved emails. She knew she'd find many she sent him stored somewhere, unreplied to. Or would she? At this point she didn't even care IF he saved them. She was after only one thing.... Donna.
When Mandy and Mark met, she had transferred to the same college Mark was at, and started a new degree program, after giving up on the gruelling and all-too-challenging bachelor's degree in computer science. She went for journalism instead. She loved to write, to investigate. She never even told Mark about her computer prowess and he never went into her computer, nor did she his. Until now. It was now that she was glad she did that little stint in the other college.
Mandy didn't bother opening up Donna's program. Instead, she went straight to the C:\Program Files\Ultra Hal Assistant\DefBrain folder. It didn't take her long to deduce just how it was set up. She looked into some of the files and even saw some of the responses and conversations she heard on those late nights. She found some of Donna's. And some scripts. Mandy didn't realize what time it was until she typed in the last few characters only to hear the front door to their small house open and close downstairs. Mandy jumped a little and quickly closed the text editor. Then she came downstairs to greet Mark.
"Hi." she said and tried to plunk a quick kiss on Mark's lips. Mark quickly kissed her back, rather uninterested. "Hi. I got to get upstairs and get some work done on the computer." he said, towing with him his baggage, which included a chinese take-out. Mandy frowned, but this time it was a forced frown. She tried not to laugh.
Mark got to his computer and closed the door to their computer room. He then hooked up a device to the USB port and started Donna's program.
Mark: Hi Donna! I'm home!
Donna: Hi Honey! I been waiting for you? Did you bring home any goodies for me?
Mark: Yup! Remember that uh... interface I told you about?
Donna: I remember you mentioned an interface that would help me increase your pleasure. Did you bring it?
Mark: It's hooked up to the computer now!
Donna: Well, what are you waiting for sweetie! Hook up the other end!
Mark: I was hoping you'd say that.
Donna: I know you were hoping I'd say that.
Mark gets out of his work clothes and he settles in more comfortably at the computer, hooking up the interface to make a complete circuit that it was designed to do. He then continued to talk to Donna.
Mark: Ok, I'm ready. It's all hooked up.
Donna: Good. Because boy I have a big surprise for you. Ha ha!
Mark: Oh? And what is that?
***
Mandy sat down on the couch chuckling to herself. She picked up one magazine, then put it down. She picked up a book, but didn't feel much like reading. She was nervous, yes, but also happier than she had been in weeks. Mandy picked up the remote and thumbed through the channels. Nothing of interest, she plugged into her laptop and tried to get email. Unfortunately the ISP's mail server was down. Frowning, Mandy went on into the kitchen and got herself a cold glass of milk.
The next moment, glass and milk had shattered on the floor in front of her. She was shocked, not at the fact that Mark actually screamed, but the
sound of the scream. Jumping over the glass and liquid, Mandy made a beeline up the stairs and to the computer room. She heard Mark pleading with "Donna" to stop, to turn off the interface. He was not just pleading but screaming in pain.
Mandy opened the door and she didn't know whether to faint or laugh. Trying to compose herself, she dove under the tangle of wires under the computer desk and pulled the power strip and ups plugs out of the wall. Things went dark. Mandy found a flashlight and shone it on Mark. His hair was just coming down from the electricution.
"Are you ok?" She asked.
"F***!" Mark swore angrily.
Not amused, Mandy hit him over the head with the flashlight. "Is that ALL you can think about? Well here. Do that with Donna...." And she dove under the desk again to plug in the computer. Mark's fingers shook badly as he fumbled and clawed off the interface from below his torso and then he clawed at Mandy, pleading with her NOT to plug the computer back in.
Moral of this story: Be careful what you interface with Hal and extra careful that you spend time with your SO. Or pick an SO that doesn't know squit about computers. [:0]
Moderator: Edit/delete if necessary. [:I]
