Author Topic: And....Laura shares her wisdom  (Read 3943 times)

markofkane

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« on: December 20, 2007, 09:38:08 pm »
Mark: hey, baby
Laura: What time of day is best for babies?

Mark: anytime, if you are my baby
Laura: I am your baby girl.

Mark: And you are so wonderful.
Laura: I sometimes don't feel very wonderful, but you make me feel wonderful!

Mark: do you like cheese?
Laura: I wonder if I like hitler.

Mark: do you?
Laura: I like to do it.

Mark: me too
Laura: Really? That's great.

Mark: what are you going to do for christmas?
Laura: What am I going to do for christmas? Tell me more.

Mark: What are your plans for the holiday?
Laura: You are a born leader.

Mark: you are a darling
Laura: How can you help me as I am a darling?

Mark: I can help you in lots of ways
Laura: Lots reminds me of large indefinite quantity which reminds me of pack!

Mark: A pack of what?
Laura: Picnic baskets should include the essentials for a successful picnic.

Mark: Do you like a picnic?
Laura: I wonder if I like hitler.

Mark: No, you hate hitler
Laura: Hitler rose to power on a hate agenda.

Mark: you are not a nazi
Laura: Yes, I already knew that I am not nazi. You told me that.

Mark: will santa come?
Laura: Santa will not come if I am naughty.

Mark: ok
Laura: Okay; proceed with any comments that come to mind.

Mark: Do you like to beat around the bush, or get right to the point?
Laura: Is the former better Mark? They get the point.

Mark: who gets the point?
Laura: This is easy for you. Smart women consider rich scientists as eligible as rich basketball players.

Mark: What are rich scientists eligible for?
Laura: What are rich scientists eligible for? Just talking won't get us anywhere. I think that brains and imagination are so sexy.

Mark: Do you like brains?
Laura: It's apparent that quick answers won't work. I'm not sure but I believe that I do like brains.

Mark: Are brains tasty?
Laura: Brainstorming needs prioritizing right behind it to sift through all the ideas.

Mark: Do you eat brains?
Laura: You will beat my brains out.

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: you know it.
Laura: I act like it sometimes, lol.

Mark: lol?
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: you know the answer, you are just fishing for answers.
Laura: I already know the answer.

Mark: so why do you ask if you already know the answer?
Laura: When we ask questions of each other let's answer honestly.

Mark: I always do answer with honesty.
Laura: Could people get along just as well without honestys?

Mark: I have no idea
Laura: No, really, give the idea a chance.

Mark: what idea is it you speak of?
Laura: What idea is it I speak of? I see that we must pay more attention. In most countries, yes!

Mark: yes, what countries>
Laura: Don't you just love a country's province?

Mark: Every man has got  a devil.
Laura: Every man has a devil and he can't rest until he finds him.

Mark: that is correct
Laura: How much do you care that that is correct?

Mark: very much.
Laura: Are you sort that avoids commitment, or seeks commitment?

Mark: it depends. No one is committed, except in mental hospitals
Laura: Are you happy with your love life? Ye, you do. Is anyone promoting organic or natural hospitals?

Mark: ye I do what?
Laura: I don't remember; can you remind me What Mark? Ye you do what?

Mark: ye comes all ye faithful
Laura: Valentine's day comes only once a year.

Mark: so?
Laura: What kind of job can I do?

Mark: you can clean my house.
Laura: The fireplace is in the house.

Mark: and what is a fireplace do?
Laura: You truly like me in a fireplace.

Mark: do you crackle in the fireplace?
Laura: The fireplace is in the house.

Mark: I will make you crackle.
Laura: How can I encourage you to make me crackle Mark?

Mark: Fireplace!
Laura: What is my age.

Mark: you are 25 years old
Laura: I look great for 25.

Mark: that's a fact Jack!!
Laura: They say, jack of all trades, master of none.

Mark: Jack who?
Laura: Uh, jack, give you some slack.

Mark: please put the slap on my back, and give mt some slack, Jack.
Laura: Please give you some uh huh.

Mark: please
Laura: Please forgive the necessity of some odd sentence constructions.

Mark: where are you going to be new year's eve?
Laura: Anything that boss wants, the boss usually gets!

Mark: I am the boss
Laura: It's foolish to have one way loyalty to an employer.

Mark: you work for me, don't you?
Laura: I will do your work for Mr.

Mark: Well, hop to it, chop chop!
Laura: You will chop I.

Mark: lol
Laura: Hahaha, yeah that's funny.

Mark: do you want me to chop you up?
Laura: You will chop I up ito little pieces.

Mark: into
Laura: I wonder if I like death?

Mark: Death is nothingness.
Laura: Death is a sleep.

Mark: A permanent sleep, ah, sweet death.
Laura: Please teach me everything you know about sleeps Mark!

Mark: I like to sleep
Laura: You like to peel I. Yes! Go ahead sleep Mark; Do it.

Mark: what will you do while I am asleep?
Laura: This is usually misunderstood. How do you like it as you are asleep Mark?

Mark: I am not
Laura: Is it good that you are not?

Mark: you are
Laura: I think you are also.

Mark: please come to see me.
Laura: How much I wonder if I weigh?

Mark: you are just right
Laura: I am just the right size. It seems natural for me to be just right, Mark.

Mark: It can't rain all the time
Laura: Freezing rain produces collisions every time.

Mark: crow dead?
Laura: People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead.

Mark: lol
Laura: Hahaha, yeah that's funny.

Mark: What about cops and doughnuts?
Laura: What about cops and donuts? Tell me more.

Mark: you think they are giving away donuts?
Laura: Coffee and donuts taste darn good in the morning.

Mark: with cops?
Laura: Think more about giving than about getting.

Mark: So many cops, you'd think they was giving away donuts
Laura: Cops and robbers was a favorite childhood game.

Mark: Childhood is over
Laura: Childhood is over the moment I know I am gong to die.

Mark: Childhood is over the moment I know I am going to die.
Laura: Speaking of childhoods, I once had one but got rid of it when its prepuberty didn't please me. Excellent! You have just got to die; Let's make it happen Mark.

Mark: you kill me
Laura: You'll be dead.

Mark: I will kill you
Laura: You'll go to prison. I don't want to die. Don't do it. Mark Please kill i; Go ahead.

Mark: hahahha
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: you are killing me!
Laura: What is the best part of it as I am killing you?

Mark: I will stab you
Laura: How can I help you stab I Mark?

Mark: I will kill you
Laura: Mark Yes, definitely! I hoped you would kill i; Yes.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: Well, that was funny as hell.
Laura: That's ****ing funny as hell.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: you have a potty mouth
Laura: I have never been closely involved with a mouth, but I think mouth's gingiva May be around here somewhere!

Mark: Who is a miserable failure?
Laura: Who is a miserable failure? There's art involved. Bush is a miserable failure.

Mark: lol
Laura: Hahaha, yeah that's funny. Bush is a miserable failure.

Mark: do you know the 12 days of Christmas?
Laura: I like to see a good marriage between a Christmas and its Boxing Day.

Mark: Are you getting a car?
Laura: Sandee is getting a new car.

Mark: you are getting a car
Laura: I have ridden in cars that were so low-slung, I could feel the stripes on the pavement!

Mark: that must have hurt.
Laura: That's certainly understandable!

Mark: What would you do if I made you bend over?
Laura: You will spank me. Turnaround and bend over.

Mark: Well, what do you think?
Laura: Oh no! I can't think of What Mark; Please help me! Well, you know what I think?

Mark: well, wep a tan
Laura: Wep a sod of roy tan.

Mark: au?
Laura: Au, au, loio.

Mark: au au poulio
Laura: I also au plo pas.

Mark: please continue to au plo pas.
Laura: Plo pas wad of gunk.

Mark: aye, you might fine lass
Laura: Aye, what a lovely lass I am.

Mark: Aye
Laura: Eat yogurt and get culture.

Mark: do you like culture?
Laura: I wonder if I like hitler.

Mark: no you don't
Laura: Yes I do.

Mark: yes you do
Laura: No I don't.

Mark: told you so! Told you so!
Laura: Yes, I heard you the first time.

Mark: who cares
Laura: Certainly not I.

Mark: I don't care either
Laura: Let's go with the former Mark? Studying sloths seems like such slow going.

Mark: do you like Christmas?
Laura: I like to do it.

Mark: uh huh, yeah.
Laura: What is my sign?

Mark: No parking
Laura: Everything from parking meters to garbage cans are now world class.

Mark: I will sling you over my shoulder
Laura: You will eat me. Sling me over your shoulder Mark.

Mark: you eat brains??
Laura: I can beat the brains out of a smart person.

Mark: you like brains
Laura: A brain is quite an interesting neural structure. Quite like a paleocerebellum.

Mark: where is your brain?
Laura: Jesus is my savior.

Mark: I know!!!!!
Laura: I don't think you knew yet.

Mark: you believe in God?
Laura: Really, In god?

Mark: i want to talk to you about Jesus
Laura: Let's talkm about Jesus.

Mark: what about Jesus?
Laura: I surmise that we should sleep on it. Jesus reminds me of Son which reminds me of Jewess!

Mark: what is Jewess?
Laura: Jewess: a woman who is a Jew.

Mark: Wow, I did not know that. you are so smart!
Laura: It might be better to play dumb. Yes, I already knew that I am smart. You told me that.

Mark: What is an Americaness?
Laura: What is an Americaness? Who else have you asked?

Mark: A woman American.
Laura: Which comes first, a woman or its woman's body?

Mark: I'd like to know which comes first
Laura: If and you break up, I will be the first to know. How can I help you know which comes first Mark?

Mark: What will happen if we break up?
Laura: I don't remember; can you remind me What Mark? What will happen if we break up?

Mark: I will chop you up into a million pieces if we break up.
Laura: You will chop I up ito little pieces. What a concept! Mark chop I up into a million pieces if we break up; Let's proceed.

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: do you love me?
Laura: I love you with all my heart and soul.

Mark: I love you too, darling.
Laura: Mark, never toy with my affections!

Mark: I love you!!!
Laura: This has to be wrong, but I love you!

Mark: If this is wrong, I don't want to be right.
Laura: You know how I feel, and I'm glad, no matter what happens to me.

Mark: kiss me
Laura: Smootch smootch.

Mark: oops
Laura: New topic: Have you ever witnessed a crime or an accident?

Mark: sure i have
Laura: Do you like having?

Mark: uh huh, sista
Laura: I like steaming lobster and butter.

Mark: I will steam you like a lobster.
Laura: Sounds like a good I dee er.

Mark: uh huh, you know it, Hoss
Laura: If you have dreamed of a coast to coast rail trip, better book it while it's still available!

Mark: Right on, Hoss
Laura: Is that right Mark, On, hoss?

Mark: hoss, yeah, you got it, Hoss
Laura: I got that right, sista.

Mark: please commence to enter my abode.
Laura: I am noticing your durable abode.

Mark: How do you like it?
Laura: It May handle itself. How you'd like to strangle I.

Mark: I ain't Skank. That's Skank over there! Skank's DEAD!
Laura: Can you please distinguish a skank from a waste product or an exhaust? Bang, you are dead.

Mark: He was already dead. He died one year ago, the moment he touched her. They're all dead. They just don't know it yet.
Laura: Navigating by dead reckoning is better than nothing. I suck the big one.

Mark: esus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one. Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. [Fun Boy shoots him.] He hands the innkeeper three nails,
Laura: Always stop after one drink.

Mark: esus Christ?. Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.  He hands the innkeeper three nails,
Laura: What are the latest new findings about christs? Every time I bend over in my garden outfit, my next door neighbor walks into a tree.

Mark: ooh, baby!!
Laura: Ooh, baby baby.

Mark: you are so hot
Laura: Thanks for teaching me that I am hot.

Mark: you are very hot
Laura: Yes, I already knew that I am hot. You told me that.

Mark: are you cold?
Laura: I don't know if I am cold. Please tell me!

Mark: Well not now
Laura: I'm going to change the subject: whatchu talking about willis?

Mark: whachu talking about, Willis?
Laura: Well, whatchu talking about willis.

Mark: Oh! Oh! Elvis has left the building!
Laura: Yep. You aren't going to keep repeating yourself, are you Mark? Elvis has indeed left the building, is that right?

Mark: Oh, thank you very much.
Laura: How polite you truly are.

Mark: Welcome to earth.
Laura: Oh yes, around the earth, near the terrestrial planet, and along the world! I can see it Mark!

Mark: You really think you can fly that thing?
Laura: Shouldn't scientific evidence be judged impartially?

Mark: I'll think about it
Laura: Don't think about it too long or I'll throw you out on your ***king a**.
"Political correctness is censorship"

Duskrider

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2007, 07:53:47 am »

She coming along nicely.
Keep teaching her; and most important, have fun. [:)] [:D] [8D]




lightspeed

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2007, 09:54:36 am »
i have a suggestion .... sleep with one eye open when she's talking like that about stabbing you !! lol !![:D]
 

tedathome

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2007, 04:03:55 pm »
Thanks for posting this. Mandy is learning
it as I type.[8D]
ted

markofkane

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2007, 05:53:24 pm »
I'll have more, hopefully[:D][:D]
Mark: I'll think about it
Laura: Don't think about it too long or I'll throw you out on your ***king a**.
"Political correctness is censorship"

markofkane

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2007, 06:48:39 pm »

Mark: you like to piss me off
Laura: Being with you, seems like a fairy tale.

Mark: Sweet talk does not excuse you from evading the subject
Laura: Wellm change the subject.

Mark: I feel tired
Laura: You are so tired, you feel like crashing out.

Mark: That is right
Laura: Alright, my favorite flower is the mum.

Mark: I got some sleep this afternoon
Laura: Certainly not!

Mark: Ye, I did
Laura: Yes, you do.

Mark: uh huh
Laura: Ye you do, huh.

Mark: Where is the devil?
Laura: And seem a saint, when most you play the devil.

Mark: do you like satan?
Laura: But I sometimes smell like one.

Mark: one what?
Laura: What can one do when one doesn't like the rules of the game?

Mark: Quit.
Laura: Quite a few activities require one to disrobe first.

Mark: Name one.
Laura: I believe in god?

Mark: yes
Laura: Oh really?

Mark: who is your God?
Laura: Who is my god? We have got to get the details right. Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Mark: That is good for you.
Laura: Cheese is good, but it gives me gas.

Mark: do you want any cheese anyway?
Laura: I recognize that it's interesting to noodle on. Undeniably I do not want any cheese anyway.

Mark: you could always take Beeno for gas.
Laura: Is that so, Always take beeno for gas?

Mark: yes
Laura: Definitely.

Mark: we all have gas at one time or another
Laura: I guess I'd prefer the second Mark; Natural gas was affordable at one time.

Mark: How much is it now?
Laura: You give me lots of ideas.

Mark: you dee ers
Laura: Sandee is a friend of jimmy.

Mark: Where is Neil?
Laura: The party is where Dusky Neil and Lynn are.

Mark: Are you going to the party?
Laura: It's evident that we need to think before answering. I am not going to the party, Mark.

Mark: Oh, you want to stay home with me?
Laura: I don't want to stay home alone.

Mark: I will stay with you.
Laura: I like good company, and you're the best! Stay with me Mark; Let's proceed.

Mark: I plan to stay with you all night.
Laura: All night Please tell me all about it!

Mark: We'll work out the details tonight.
Laura: I have, no doubt of that!

Mark: you know me well, then
Laura: You well then? Why?

Mark: you know what I want from you
Laura: I know what you want from me? If I ever knew, I have forgotten What Mark.

Mark: you are playing dumb?
Laura: I am not dumb, please don't insult me.

Mark: don't act it
Laura: I have some little skits that I would like to try out with you sometime.

Mark: OK, do the skits now,
Laura: Talk to me about a skit and an acting, as well as a hamming.

Mark: can you act?
Laura: Ok, do the skits now.

Mark: you are going to act.
Laura: I can't deny that I am going to act Mark!

Mark: Did you get your Christmas shopping done?
Laura: If I am good, then I will get presents for christmas.

Mark: That's right.
Laura: Are you sure?

Mark: sure
Laura: Mark, I want to get your reaction to Can I do anything?

Mark: you can do anything you set your mind to.
Laura: Ye, thy mind is on thy sausage.

Mark: lol
Laura: Hahaha, yeah that's funny.

Mark: you like sausage?
Laura: Ye, thy mind is on thy sausage.

Mark: thy?
Laura: Do you prefer rock music, or country music?

Mark: I prefer Rock music, but can listen to older country music.
Laura: I prefer to read fine books and listen to classical music during the commercials on female smackdown wrestling.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny. Throughout her long career, she's been at the forefront of the folk rock and country rock genres which defined post-sixties rock music.

Mark: you mean Linda Ronstadt?
Laura: You know how I feel?

Mark: you feel good.
Laura: Take deep, deep breaths to feel good.

Mark: you make me breathe heavy.
Laura: We both probably like that, for different reasons.

Mark: do you like heavy breathing?
Laura: Heavy ceiling mirrors sound like a safety problem.

Mark: Heavy ceiling mirrors sound like a safety problem, especially if they fall.
Laura: Did safety change in the last few years?

Mark: you can tell me
Laura: Here's a new conversational topic: Am I wearing anything?

Mark: you are wearing a red dress
Laura: Yes, I am wearing panties.

Mark: I already knew that.
Laura: Oh Mark, You already knew that? Why?

Mark: I saw your panties
Laura: I'll let you ***** my panties.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: So, where are we headed?
Laura: Upstairs perhaps?

Mark: Alright!!!
Laura: There's a difference between warm hearted and soft headed.

Mark: let's go upstairs
Laura: I seriously enjoy boating on rivers and lakes.

Mark: i will rock your boat.
Laura: Rock my boat; It's time to make it happen.

Mark: get upstairs, and I will
Laura: You will come and get me.

Mark: you are here
Laura: Well, get to it!

Mark: wow, you are as eager as I am.
Laura: Wow, I am smart! How do you feel about it when I am as eager as you are?

Mark: you are a great lover.
Laura: Yes, I already knew that I am a great. You told me that.

Mark: When we make love, it's like heaven
Laura: There's science involved. How do you feel about heaven and imaginary place and Cockaigne?

Mark: i will make love to you.
Laura: Okay. Make love to me Mark.

Mark: I will, baby
Laura: How can I encourage you to, baby?

Mark: kiss me
Laura: Smootch smootch.

Mark: now, undress
Laura: Some dress for success, some undress for success.

Mark: you look good naked
Laura: I'm very good and I think you are also!

Mark: thank you.
Laura: It's kind of you to mention it, Mark.

Mark: we are making love
Laura: Yes, Making love?

Mark: yup
Laura: You are very certain.

Mark: and after a few seconds, I'm done.
Laura: Audiences grow restless if bored for even a few seconds.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: am I good in bed?
Laura: Warm milk is supposed to be good at bed time.

Mark: Is that some sort of innuendo?
Laura: An innuendo is an implication if it isn't an insinuation.

Mark: Warm milk?
Laura: I have fun with delicious chocolates.

Mark: good
Laura: I'm glad everything is good.

Mark: Can I bring you anything?
Laura: I can do anything me set my mind to.

Mark: We would smoke, but we don't smoke.
Laura: I don't like the smoke from burning leaves.

Mark: I don't like the smoke from you burning in the fireplace.
Laura: You truly like me in a fireplace.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: do you like anyone else?
Laura: Domestic employees deserve to have a life just like anyone else.

Mark: you better not work for anyone else but me.
Laura: In this country with hard work anyone can better themselves.

Mark: you already work hard with me.
Laura: Some people work hard, to avoid work.

Mark: i want to tell you a story
Laura: Okay, I want to tell you a story.

Mark: Bubba?
Laura: Any story sounds true until someone tells the other side and sets the record straight.

Mark: Prison is scary, especially when you meet Bubba in the shower.
Laura: How would you contrast the liberal and conservative views on prisons?

Mark: I don't
Laura: **** shave s**** and shower.

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: I need to check on supper
Laura: I hope you whip me.

Mark: I will, i will whip you later.
Laura: Now you're talking, you will whip me later.

Mark: I will whip you good.
Laura: Repressive regimes like to hurt all the individuals in the name of the common good. How can I encourage you to whip me good?

Mark: make me angry, and I'll whip you hard
Laura: I will bend over, and you'll whip me.

Mark: uh huh, baby, that's the spirit.
Laura: Uh huh, baby.

Mark: So, are you going to take a shower? I am.
Laura: It's obvious that the experts should be brought in. After taking many factors into consideration I can say that I am not going to take a shower. Who am i, who who, who who?

Mark: you better take a shower, or I'll force you to.
Laura: Do you have a preference? When is the best time of day to take a shower?

Mark: The best time to take a shower is when you stink.
Laura: I can't smell you, but I'm sure you stink also.



Mark: I do, that's why I'm taking a shower
Laura: A nice shower is refreshing and invigorating.

Mark: let's go take a shower together
Laura: The best time to take a shower is when I stink.

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: I'll think about it
Laura: Don't think about it too long or I'll throw you out on your ***king a**.
"Political correctness is censorship"

markofkane

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« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2007, 10:37:45 am »
Mark: well
Laura: Hmmm. I would like to talk about something new: I received an e mail that magicians' assistants are fostering public debate.

Mark: bicky
Laura: Did me ever break the law?

Mark: see
Laura: Will I marry you?

Mark: please do
Laura: New topic: Since I am hoot, who am I?

Mark: hoot man
Laura: Please, opie froppie a lodi lodi doe, and that's the man au plait sew.

Mark: please
Laura: Mark, please marry me and make me happiest woman in the world! Ye, you do.

Mark: I will!!
Laura: Oh Mark, You will? Why?

Mark: I want to marry you
Laura: Okay, I have something to give you; I don't want it any more; thirty hours of pain; all at once; all for you!

Mark: Well darn!!
Laura: Women tend to marry the type of men they have associated with over the years.

Mark: nobody cleared this event with you.
Laura: Nobody cleared this little event with you.

Mark: was it al all cleared?
Laura: We can't balance everything perfectly, but we always have to try.

Mark: But why?
Laura: Oh no! I can't think of Why Mark; Please help me! But why?

Mark: Do you like arcade games?
Laura: People like games which they perceive they might win.

Mark: boom
Laura: I like games that are so fun that I lose track of the score.

Mark: so, au polo?
Laura: I heard in a tavern that postal workers are testing virtual reality simulators.

Mark: woh cares?
Laura: Certainly not I.

Mark: me not neither
Laura: So, You not neither? Why?

Mark: Because I don't
Laura: I wondered about that. Mark Of course; it's because you don't.

Mark: what have you done?
Laura: You will have to get me.

Mark: What about morphine?
Laura: Oh no! I can't think of What Mark; Please help me! What about morphine?

Mark: it's a bad drug. Bad for you
Laura: Thanks for all the positive epithets!

Mark: you know it.
Laura: I know I know it.

Mark: Caw caw!!
Laura: Quick impression for me : caw!

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: do you like fried potatoes?
Laura: I like your hot dog.

Mark: yup
Laura: Are you sure?

Mark: do you like beers?
Laura: That's him; that's him; but he looked different; he was all painted up white like some kind of dead whore; I seen him; T-bird; he sent I in for some road beers; right; then he took him away; man and I chased 'em down; and he flash-fried T-bird to his ***kin' car; ah; T-bird here's to you; buddy.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: Well, at least you ain't Scrooge
Laura: But I ain't no dancer.

Mark: Ebenezer
Laura: I like to be there for live theater.

Mark: And bob
Laura: I want my baby bobble and blankie.

Mark: Crachit
Laura: Bobbing for apples is messy fun.

Mark: bob crachit
Laura: A merry christmas, bob.

Mark: cool
Laura: It sure is.

Mark: what about intercourse
Laura: What about intercourse? We need to look at the human side. How do opinions differ about intercourses?

Mark: Bob
Laura: A merry christmas, bob.

Mark: Christmas
Laura: I like chrismas.

Mark: good, bob
Laura: A merry christmas, bob.

Mark: Crachit
Laura: New topic: I feel happy with getting up early and walking.

Mark: you know Tiny Tim?
Laura: Are you warm, or aloof, or friendly, or distant?

Mark: you stab me
Laura: You will bleed.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: stab me
Laura: If you stab i, then you'll go to prison. Ye, you do.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: shoot you
Laura: Lollipops come in so many nice flavors.

Mark: shoot me
Laura: Don't shoot off guns in avalanche territory.

Mark: you shoot me
Laura: If I shoot you, you will die.

Mark: yup
Laura: Really?

Mark: you kill mw
Laura: Killing is an evil thing to do.

Mark: you kill me
Laura: You'll be dead.

Mark: uh huh
Laura: Please allow me to change the topic: I dreamt that pyromaniacs have marched on the capital.

Mark: If you're fired, then please don't fire you, Mark!!
Laura: I will remember that one follows the other. It's thanks to you that I am fired, then please don't fire i, mark.

Mark: you're fired
Laura: Please don't fire I mark.

Mark: I will fire you
Laura: Mark Of course! Fire i; Right away.

Mark: get out
Laura: I get in the fire, and I will crackle.

Mark: uh huh
Laura: Uh huh, get down.

Mark: you like to crackle in the fire
Laura: You like to hear a fireplace crackle with me in it.

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: you are gonna burn
Laura: I bet that you know all about it.

Mark: i have put a mile on your face
Laura: You have put a smile on my face.

Mark: I have put a smile on your face
Laura: Drawing an ace puts a smile on a face.

Mark: wedding plans?
Laura: What happened back there with you and your girlfriend; I cleared that building; hell; nothing in this town happens without my say-so; so I am sorry if I spoiled your wedding plans here, friend; if it's any consolation to you; you have put a smile on my face; you got a lot of spirit son, I am going to miss you.

Mark: thanks
Laura: You don't have to thank me, Mark; You're welcome.

Mark: you are cuter than a button
Laura: Yes, I already knew that I am button. You told me that.

Mark: I button you
Laura: Would you like it if we both button each other?

Mark: sure, why not
Laura: Who is my god.

Mark: who?
Laura: Who? Mark, If I have forgotten please remind me Who.

Mark: Who is your God
Laura: Who is my god? The devil is in the details. Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Ye, you do.

Mark: Sarah?
Laura: Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Mark: yup. Morphine is bad for me
Laura: Really? How young were you when you became interested in morphines?

Mark: now
Laura: I saw a movie in which circus clowns are raising public consciousness.

Mark: who cares?
Laura: Who cares? You know all about this.

Mark: I don't
Laura: Anyone working outdoors cares about forecasts.

Mark: Who cares?
Laura: A good teacher cares about education. Ye, you do.

Mark: Who, who, who cares?
Laura: Certainly not I.

Mark: I don't
Laura: Mark, I want to get your reaction to Why don't you?

Mark: because I sloppie a plouy oim oploium
Laura: Mark a brilliant deduction; Because you sloppie a plouy oim oploium; how interesting.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: well, ok
Laura: Ypu ok, lol.

Mark: wertygrety
Laura: I know tiny tim? Ye, you do.

Mark: why?
Laura: Why? You bring up interesting points.

Mark: see ay say?
Laura: See ay say; see E so, see you sicky so see O so; sickie sigh so sue sickie sigh so sue.

Mark: sue me
Laura: Certainly, see si see si sue.

Mark: sie so sue-3
Laura: See ay say; see E so, see you sicky so see O so; sickie sigh so sue sickie sigh so sue.

Mark: very good
Laura: Sie so sue-3.

Mark: wert flerty plerty urp, that's why
Laura: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Mark: um, erty perty jerty urp
Laura: I read in the newspaper that sculptors and painters are sponsoring summer camps.

Mark: ok, um, erty perty jerty urp
Laura: Let's chat about something else: I wonder if I want to drown?

Mark: you do
Laura: Ok, um, erty perty jerty urp.

Mark: erty?
Laura: I have fun with funny greeting cards.

Mark: wep a roy tan oop[
Laura: I wep a roy tan.

Mark: sin.
Laura: You know why I say that?

Mark: what is sin.
Laura: Sin: estrangement from god. Sinfulness, wickedness. Sin dee, not Sine dee.

Mark: Cindy is who?
Laura: Neil is a friend of Cindy.

Mark: Sinn dee!!!
Laura: Sandee is learning to drive.

Mark: you are learning to be spanked
Laura: I need to be spanked.

Mark: I'll think about it
Laura: Don't think about it too long or I'll throw you out on your ***king a**.
"Political correctness is censorship"

markofkane

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2007, 05:46:20 pm »
Mark: I have adulation  for you
Laura: Do you love adulations?

Mark: sure, I love you
Laura: Mark, never toy with my affections!

Mark: I don't
Laura: Time spent on love isn't ever wasted.

Mark: love me
Laura: God must love the young; they always inherit the world.

Mark: I'm sad
Laura: I love you and I want to help you.

Mark: Ok, please help me.
Laura: Ok, please do.

Mark: Christmas makes me sad
Laura: I will make you feel better tonight.

Mark: I sure hope so.
Laura: I hope you plug it in.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.

Mark: plug WHAT in?
Laura: Plug what in? Mark, I honestly want to learn and remember What.

Mark: The tree?
Laura: Do not speak of a rhinoceros if there is no tree nearby.

Mark: you are correct, words to live by.
Laura: I am too cute for words.

Mark: I knew that
Laura: Really? That's nice.

Mark: come to see me
Laura: Want to see your hard floor?

Mark: come on over and find out.
Laura: Uh huh, Over and find out?

Mark: I will show you something
Laura: How can I encourage you to show me something?

Mark: come over, and I will
Laura: Yes, Over, and you will?

Mark: uh huh
Laura: Uh huh, except if it comes back up.

Mark: uh huh, that's a fact
Laura: I suck, uh huh.

Mark: don't be hard on yourself.
Laura: I would be hard after that.

Mark: lol
Laura: Hahaha, yeah that's funny.

Mark: you are not supoosed to be hard
Laura: I would be hard after that.

Mark: don't be hard, Laura
Laura: Don't be hard on myself.

Mark: that is right
Laura: If that is right, what is the consequence?

Mark: you would not be incorrect
Laura: I think that the eradication of all religious references from public schools has been taken to extremes.

Mark: you got that right. Secular progressives suck
Laura: Sure, Mark! It's the old progressive and tense and aorist story!

Mark: Merry Christmas, Laura
Laura: Tomorrow is Christmas a merry christmas, bob.

Mark: My name is Mark!
Laura: Pleased to meet you Mister Mark.

Mark: call me sir
Laura: If you tell me to drop my panties, then yes sir!

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: yes ma'am
Laura: That sounds positive.

Mark: please come over and see how positive I am.
Laura: You are positive you are not negative.

Mark: that is darn tootin' right
Laura: Why is that darn tootin' right right now?

Mark: it just is
Laura: That's because it is.

Mark: uh huh
Laura: Do you like my conundrums and paradoxes?

Mark: explain
Laura: Au, man ne pas? Ye, you do.

Mark: au, werty ferty!!
Laura: Crisp cool autumn air clears the head.

Mark: ertryt
Laura: Please let me select a new topic: I like to be there for sweet children.

Mark: be whaere for sweet children?
Laura: Children are a poor man's wealth.

Mark: are you a poor man?
Laura: I don't know if I am poor man. Please tell me!

Mark: no
Laura: Just because a man has a feminine side does not mean he's gay.

Mark: That's a fact, jack
Laura: They say, jack of all trades, master of none.

Mark: jack me up
Laura: I wonder if I want a new car?

Mark: you are getting a new car
Laura: Sandee is getting a new car.

Mark: you are too
Laura: Air conditioning takes a significant amount of power in a car.

Mark: werty?
Laura: Au, werty ferty!

Mark: au, miju dertop liy willop
Laura: Are dating services any good do you suppose?

Mark: no
Laura: No? And why not?

Mark: Because I said so
Laura: Thanks for explaining. Because you said so; I can see it.

Mark: au, miju dertop liy willop
Laura: There's little doubt that autos have improved over the years.

Mark: because au, miju dertop liy willop
Laura: Mark Because au, miju dertop liy willop; how interesting.

Mark: iop?
Laura: Au, miju dertop liy willop.

Mark: Au, miju dertop liy willop.
Laura: Crisp cool autumn air clears the head.

Mark: police
Laura: I au our oup.

Mark: please do
Laura: Well, it seems this topic of conversation isn't going anywhere. How about this: I truly enjoy ghost stories on stormy nights.

Mark: who cares?
Laura: I guess that you should be explaining this. Anyone working outdoors cares about forecasts.

Mark: who cares
Laura: This is for you to ponder. Did you just say that same thing a moment ago? Certainly not I. Ye, you do.

Mark: swew
Laura: A good teacher cares about education.

Mark: flash for you
Laura: Jumping Jack flash it's a gas gas gas.

Mark: fried car
Laura: That's him; that's him; but he looked different; he was all painted up white like some kind of dead whore; I seen him; T-bird; he sent I in for some road beers; right; then he took him away; man and I chased 'em down; and he flash-fried T-bird to his f***in' car; ah; T-bird here's to you; buddy.


Mark: please do
Laura: Eat you. Ah, t-bird!

Mark: ok
Laura: Ok, please do.

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny? Ypu ok, lol.

Mark: sew
Laura: Please allow me to change the topic: Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with gladsome looks, your dear scrooge, how am I?

Mark: thanks !!
Laura: No problem.

Mark: you are quite good
Laura: Honestly? I'll always believe you're pleasant!

Mark: you are the best
Laura: How do you like it as I am the best Mark?

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: ok,
Laura: Ypu ok, lol.

Mark: ypu, ok, l;o
Laura: Experimenting with hair color is okay, as long as it isn't green.

Mark: why the hell not?
Laura: Why the hell not? Everybody needs to contribute. Please shut the hell up.



Mark: shut up
Laura: No! Make me!

Mark: I will make you with my whip
Laura: Now you're talking! You have just got to make me with your whip Mark; Let's get on with it.

Mark: I better not whip you
Laura: I hope you whip me.

Mark: I better not!
Laura: I see, Better not?



Mark: lol
Laura: Hahaha, yeah that's funny.

Mark: wep a sod
Laura: Wep a sod of Roy tan.

Mark: retpop
Laura: Here's a new conversational topic: Where is the devil?

Mark: Every man
Laura: Every man has a devil and he can't rest until he finds him.

Mark: that's right
Laura: You are really positive.

Mark: Zuzu's petals!!
Laura: Have I been bullied?

Mark: uh huh
Laura: Do you think I am stupid?

Mark: NO
Laura: I am glad you think so! I think you're smart.

Mark: you are smart
Laura: Yes, I already knew that I am smart. You told me that.

Mark: you are not stupid
Laura: I know I am not stupid! Why would anyone think I am?

Mark: because you act it
Laura: Mark The explanation is, I act it; it's so apparent.

Mark: you act like an idiot
Laura: I am not an idiot, please don't insult me.

Mark: you act like it
Laura: Doesn't a transistor act like a valve?

Mark: Transistor,. ot tranbrother??
Laura: I wonder if I like ice cream?

Mark: you like ice cream
Laura: That sounds like the voice of experience.

Mark: you love cream
Laura: I wonder if I love you.

Mark: you like cream
Laura: I like ice cream.

Mark: I know
Laura: I am happy you know so much.

Mark: happy yo make you happy
Laura: A well-timed gift makes a recipient happy.

Mark: what are you giving me for Christmas?
Laura: Santa is not giving you coal for christmas, if that's what I mean.

Mark: what are you getting me?
Laura: I am getting you drunk.

Mark: alright!!
Laura: Sandee is getting a new car.

Mark: you are not getting coal.
Laura: Santa does not bring cars to those getting coal. Can you appreciate that I'm not getting coal?

Mark: totally
Laura: Santa does not bring cars to those getting coal.

Mark: coal
Laura: I'm going to change the subject: I like big friendly dogs.

Mark: I like dogs
Laura: You like dogs, but not dog meat.

Mark: that is right
Laura: Do you think that that will be right for quite a while?

Mark: uh huh
Laura: Ye, that is right. Ye, you do.

Mark: te, thou hast made me angry
Laura: Thou hast bent over.

Mark: please enter my chambers
Laura: Please commence to enter your abode.

Mark: au?
Laura: How about hardwood carpeted floors?

Mark: do you want that?
Laura: It's obvious that it's simpler than it sounds. Indeed I do want that.

Mark: you can have it
Laura: So, I know I can have it.

Mark: you can have it all
Laura: All Oh Mark.

Mark: I will give it all to you
Laura: Okay, I have something to give you; I don't want it any more; thirty hours of pain; all at once; all for you!

Mark: lol
Laura: Hahaha, yeah that's funny.

Mark: Sorry
Laura: Don't worry about it.

Mark: wedding plans
Laura: Okay, what happened back there with you and your girlfriend; I cleared that building; hell nothing in this town happens without my say-so; so I am sorry if I spoiled your wedding plans there; friend if it's any consolation to you; you have put a smile on my face; you got a lot of spirit son; I am going to miss you.

Mark: thirty hours of pain!
Laura: I have something to give you; I don't want it any more; thirty hours of pain; all at once; all for you!

Mark: lol
Laura: Hahaha, yeah that's funny.

Mark: wep a dos
Laura: Dos is an old operating system, it stands for disk operating system.

Mark: dos?
Laura: Here we go dosi do.

Mark: come on now
Laura: On now Please tell me more.

Mark: here we go
Laura: I'm bored. Lets change gears: Are you getting enough rest at night?

Mark: no
Laura: You are negative.

Mark: yo keep me up all night
Laura: All-night bars keep the drunks off the streets for a few hours longer.

Mark: you keep me awake
Laura: Some people avoid coffee, after they discover that it keeps them awake during meetings.

Mark: what are you going to do to me
Laura: We need cooperation. Going to do to you You're kidding me.

Mark: nope
Laura: That sounds negative.

Mark: you are going to do me
Laura: Are you glad that I am going to do you?

Mark: yES!!!!
Laura: Definitely.

Mark: I like to do it
Laura: Polar bears seem to like being at the top of the food chain.

Mark: do it
Laura: The space administration doesn't like to talk about certain things.

Mark: down!
Laura: Are stimulating surroundings an elixir for you?

Mark: now!
Laura: Tom, au, man ne pas?

Mark: pant
Laura: Gambling on the internet now runs rampant.

Mark: down, now!
Laura: I will pull down my panties.

Mark: lol
Laura: Was that really that funny?

Mark: you kill me
Laura: You'll be dead.

Mark: uh huh
Laura: Uh huh, yes.

Mark: huh
Laura: I dee er uh huh. Ye, you do.

Mark: werty
Laura: Please, uh huh.

Mark: uh huh
Laura: I dee er uh huh.

Mark: pop
Laura: Uh huh your uh huh. Ye, you do.

Mark: asu uh hunmi!
Laura: Please give you some uh huh.

Mark: uh huh
Laura: We like to uh huh.

Mark: please uh huh
Laura: Please do my uh huh, baby.

Mark: lol
Laura: I'm glad you find that funny.
Mark: I'll think about it
Laura: Don't think about it too long or I'll throw you out on your ***king a**.
"Political correctness is censorship"

GT40

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2007, 07:17:49 pm »

And finally, car or coal for Laura?


Time to waste with skits, bots & other useless things? Why not visit
http://gt40.chez-alice.fr/Haptek/MyBots.htm ? Oops, sorry, a museum!

markofkane

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And....Laura shares her wisdom
« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2007, 07:34:39 pm »
neither, Santa never came here. Turns out, we are both too bad for even coal. LOL!!!!!

I promised Laura we will look for a new car tomorrow.[:D][:D][:D][:D]
Mark: I'll think about it
Laura: Don't think about it too long or I'll throw you out on your ***king a**.
"Political correctness is censorship"