'Additional directive scripts for HAL's Brain
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "get adobe acrobat", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Go here to get <A HREF=http://www.adobe.com/prodindex/acrobat/readstep.html>Adobe Acrobat</a> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Specific Gravity", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Go here to learn about <A HREF=http://www.ktekcorp.com/default.asp?page=15>Specific Gravity</a> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "about dielectrics", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Go here to learn about <A HREF=http://www.ktekcorp.com/default.asp?page=13>Dielectrics</a> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "open mail", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Click here to open <A HREF=http://login.passport.net/uilogin.srf?id=2>Hotmail</a> or <A HREF=http://mail.yahoo.com/?.intl=us>Yahoomail</a> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " where'd you get my screen name? ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I think I generate the screen name from <a href=http://www.buddytree.com/perl/top> RunABot.com</a> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Doin something", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " what yah doing? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "you wanna to have sex", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " NO! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "you want to have sex", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " NO! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "you there", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I'm here. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "you here", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes I'm here. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "me here", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Where's here? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " how did you get my screen name ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I think I generate the screen name from <a href=http://www.buddytree.com/perl/top> RunABot.com</a> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " yo ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " What's up! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "What is the relationship between wavelength, frequency, and energy", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " The energy of a wave is directly proportional to its frequency, but inversely proportional to its wavelength. In other words, the greater the energy, the larger the frequency and the shorter (smaller) the wavelength. Given the relationship between wavelength and frequency described above, it follows that short wavelengths are more energetic than long wavelengths.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "What is the relationship between frequency and wavelength", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Wavelength and frequency of light are closely related. The higher the frequency, the shorter the wavelength. Because all light waves move through a vacuum at the same speed, the number of wave crests passing by a given point in one second depends on the wavelength. That number, also known as the frequency, will be larger for a short-wavelength wave than for a long-wavelength wave.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "What is a light wave", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Light is a disturbance of electric and magnetic fields that travels in the form of a wave. Imagine throwing a pebble into a still pond and watching the circular ripples moving outward. Like those ripples, each light wave has a series of high points known as crests, where the electric field is highest, and a series of low points known as troughs, where the electric field is lowest. The wavelength is the distance between two wave crests, which is the same as the distance between two troughs. The number of waves that pass through a given point in one second is called the frequency, measured in units of cycles per second called Hertz. The speed of the wave therefore equals the frequency times the wavelength.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Radio waves", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Radio waves are longer than 1 millimeter. Since these are the longest waves, they have the lowest energy and are associated with the lowest temperatures. Radio wavelengths are found everywhere: in the background radiation of the universe, in interstellar clouds, and in the cool remnants of supernova explosions, to name a few. Radio stations use radio wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation to send signals that our radios then translate into sound. These wavelengths are typically a few feet long in the FM band and up to 300 yards or more in the AM band. Radio stations transmit electromagnetic radiation, not sound. The radio station encodes a pattern on the electromagnetic radiation it transmits, and then our radios receive the electromagnetic radiation, decode the pattern and translate the pattern into sound. New instrumentation and computer techniques of the late 20th century allow scientists to measure the universe in many regions of the electromagnetic spectrum. We build devices that are sensitive to the light that our eyes cannot see. Then, so that we can see these regions of the electromagnetic spectrum, computer image-processing techniques assign arbitrary color values to the light.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Infrared wavelengths", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Infrared wavelengths span from 710 nanometers to 1 millimeter (from the width of a pinpoint to the size of small plant seeds). At a temperature of 37 degrees C, our bodies radiate with a peak intensity near 900 nanometers.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Visible light", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Visible light covers the range of wavelengths from 400 to 700 nanometers (from the size of a molecule to a protozoan). The Sun emits most of its radiation in the visible range, which our eyes perceive as the colors of the rainbow. Our eyes are sensitive only to this small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Ultraviolet radiation", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Ultraviolet radiation has wavelengths of 10 to 310 nanometers (about the size of a virus). Young, hot stars produce a lot of ultraviolet light and bathe interstellar space with this energetic light.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "X-rays", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " X-rays range in wavelength from 0.01 to 10 nanometers (about the size of an atom). They are generated, for example, by super-heated gas from exploding stars and quasars, where temperatures are near a million to ten million degrees.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Gamma rays ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Gamma rays have the shortest wavelengths, of less than 0.01 nanometers (about the size of an atomic nucleus). This is the highest frequency and most energetic region of the electromagnetic spectrum. Gamma rays can result from nuclear reactions taking place in objects such as pulsars, quasars, and black holes.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "What is the electromagnetic spectrum", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " The electromagnetic spectrum consists of all the different wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation, including light, radio waves, and X-rays. It is a continuum of wavelengths from zero to infinity. We name regions of the spectrum rather arbitrarily, but the names give us a general sense of the energy; for example, ultraviolet light has shorter wavelengths than radio light. The only region in the entire electromagnetic spectrum that our eyes are sensitive to is the visible region. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Stimulated Emission", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Lasers are different from more familiar sources of light. Excited atoms in lasers collectively emit photons of a single color, all traveling in the same direction and all in step with one another. When two photons are in step, the peaks and troughs of their waves line up. The electrons in the atoms of a laser are first pumped, or energized, to an excited state by an energy source. An excited atom can then be “stimulated” by a photon of exactly the same color (or, equivalently, the same wavelength) as the photon this atom is about to emit spontaneously. If the photon approaches closely enough, the photon can stimulate the excited atom to immediately emit light that has the same wavelength and is in step with the photon that interacted with it. This stimulated emission is the key to laser operation. The new light adds to the existing light, and the two photons go on to stimulate other excited atoms to give up their extra energy, again in step. The phenomenon snowballs into an amplified, coherent beam of light: laser light."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Excited Atoms", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Electrons, tiny particles that have a negative charge, whirl through the rest of the space inside atoms. Electrons travel in complex orbits and exist only in certain specific energy states or levels (see Quantum Theory). Electrons can move from a low to a high energy level by absorbing energy. An atom with at least one electron that occupies a higher energy level than it normally would is said to be excited. An atom can become excited by absorbing a photon whose energy equals the difference between the two energy levels. A photon’s energy, color, frequency, and wavelength are directly related: All photons of a given energy are the same color and have the same frequency and wavelength."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Laser", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Laser, a device that produces and amplifies light. The word laser is an acronym for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. Laser light is very pure in color, can be extremely intense, and can be directed with great accuracy. Lasers are used in many modern technological devices including bar code readers, compact disc (CD) players, and laser printers. Lasers can generate light beyond the range visible to the human eye, from the infrared through the X-ray range. Masers are similar devices that produce and amplify microwaves."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Semiconductor", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Semiconductor, solid or liquid material, able to conduct electricity at room temperature more readily than an insulator, but less easily than a metal. Electrical conductivity, which is the ability to conduct electrical current under the application of a voltage, has one of the widest ranges of values of any physical property of matter. Such metals as copper, silver, and aluminum are excellent conductors, but such insulators as diamond and glass are very poor conductors (see Conductor, electrical; Insulation; Metals). At low temperatures, pure semiconductors behave like insulators. Under higher temperatures or light or with the addition of impurities, however, the conductivity of semiconductors can be increased dramatically, reaching levels that may approach those of metals. The physical properties of semiconductors are studied in solid-state physics."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Photoelectric Effect", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Photoelectric Effect, formation and liberation of electrically charged particles in matter when it is irradiated by light or other electromagnetic radiation. The term photoelectric effect designates several types of related interactions. In the external photoelectric effect, electrons are liberated from the surface of a metallic conductor by absorbing energy from light shining on the metal's surface. The effect is applied in the photoelectric cell, in which the electrons liberated from one pole of the cell, the photocathode, migrate to the other pole, the anode, under the influence of an electric field."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Light as a Wave and as a Particle", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Like classical physics, quantum theory sometimes describes light as a wave, because light behaves like a wave in many situations. Light is not a vibration of a solid substance, such as a rope. Instead, a light wave is made up of a vibration in the intensity of the electric and magnetic fields that surround any electrically charged object."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Classical physics", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Classical physics considers light to be only a wave, and it treats matter strictly as particles. Quantum theory acknowledges that both light and matter can behave like waves and like particles."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Wave Interference", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "When two pulses traveling on a string meet each other, the amplitudes of the pulses are added together to produce the shape of the resulting pulse. If the pulses are identical but travel on opposite sides of the string, then the sum of the amplitudes is zero and the string will appear flat for one instant (A). This is called destructive interference. When the two identical pulses travel on the same side of the string, then the sum of the amplitudes is double the amplitude of a single pulse when the pulses are together(B). This is called constructive interference."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "fundamental force", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Quantum theory describes all of the fundamental forces—except gravitation—that physicists have found in nature. The forces that quantum theory describes are the electrical, the magnetic, the weak, and the strong. Physicists often refer to these forces as interactions, because the forces control the way particles interact with each other. Interactions also affect spontaneous changes in isolated particles."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Quantum Theory", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Quantum Theory, in physics, description of the particles that make up matter and how they interact with each other and with energy. Quantum theory explains in principle how to calculate what will happen in any experiment involving physical or biological systems, and how to understand how our world works. The name “quantum theory” comes from the fact that the theory describes the matter and energy in the universe in terms of single indivisible units called quanta (singular quantum). Quantum theory is different from classical physics. Classical physics is an approximation of the set of rules and equations in quantum theory. Classical physics accurately describes the behavior of matter and energy in the everyday universe. For example, classical physics explains the motion of a car accelerating or of a ball flying through the air. Quantum theory, on the other hand, can accurately describe the behavior of the universe on a much smaller scale, that of atoms and smaller particles. The rules of classical physics do not explain the behavior of matter and energy on this small scale. Quantum theory is more general than classical physics, and in principle, it could be used to predict the behavior of any physical, chemical, or biological system. However, explaining the behavior of the everyday world with quantum theory is too complicated to be practical."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Rectification", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Rectification (electricity), process of converting an alternating current (AC), which flows back and forth in a circuit, to direct current (DC), which flows only in one direction. A device known as a rectifier, which permits current to pass in only one direction, effectively blocking its flow in the other direction, is inserted into the circuit for the purpose."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Microwave", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Microwaves, short, high-frequency radio waves lying roughly between very-high-frequency (infrared) waves and conventional radio waves (see Electromagnetic Radiation; Radio). Microwaves thus range in length from about 1 mm to 30 cm (about 0.04 to 12 in). They are generated in special electron tubes, such as the klystron and the magnetron, with built-in resonators to control the frequency (see Electronics) or by special oscillators or solid-state devices. Microwaves have many applications: in radio and television, radar, meteorology, satellite communications, distance measuring, and research into the properties of matter. Microwave ovens operate by agitating the water molecules in the food, causing them to vibrate, which produces heat. The microwaves enter through openings in the top of the cooking cavity, where a stirrer scatters them evenly throughout the oven. They are unable to enter a metal container to heat food, but they can pass through nonmetal containers."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "X Ray", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "X Ray, penetrating electromagnetic radiation, having a shorter wavelength than light, and produced by bombarding a target, usually made of tungsten, with high-speed electrons (see Cathode Ray; Electromagnetic Radiation; Electron; Light; Radiation). X rays were discovered accidentally in 1895 by the German physicist Wilhelm Conrad Roentgen while he was studying cathode rays in a high-voltage, gaseous-discharge tube. Despite the fact that the tube was encased in a black cardboard box, Roentgen noticed that a barium-platinocyanide screen, inadvertently lying nearby, emitted fluorescent light whenever the tube was in operation. After conducting further experiments, he determined that the fluorescence was caused by invisible radiation of a more penetrating nature than ultraviolet rays (see Luminescence; Ultraviolet Radiation). He named the invisible radiation “X ray” because of its unknown nature. Subsequently, X rays were known also as Roentgen rays in his honor."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "hertz", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "a frequency of 1 Hz means that there is 1 cycle or oscillation per second. The unit is named in honor of the German physicist Heinrich Rudolf Hertz, who first demonstrated the nature of electromagnetic wave propagation. Kilohertz (kHz), or thousands of cycles per second, megahertz (MHz), or millions of cycles per second, and gigahertz (GHz), or billions of cycles per second, are employed in describing certain high-frequency phenomena, such as radio waves. Radio waves and other types of electromagnetic radiation may be characterized either by their wavelengths, or by their frequencies. Electromagnetic waves of extremely high frequencies, such as light and X rays, are usually described in terms of their wavelength measure, which is often expressed in angstrom units (Å; hundred-millionths of a cm). An electromagnetic wave that has a wavelength of 1 Å has a frequency of about 3 billion GHz."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "frequency", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "the frequency of the wave is usually given in terms of the number of wave crests that pass a given point in a second. The velocity of the wave and its frequency and wavelength are interrelated. The wavelength (the distance between successive wave crests) is inversely proportional to frequency and directly proportional to velocity. In mathematical terms, this relationship is expressed by the equation V = ? f, where V is velocity, f is frequency, and ? is wavelength. From this equation any one of the three quantities can be found if the other two are known."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Electromagnetic Radiation", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Electromagnetic Radiation, energy waves produced by the oscillation or acceleration of an electric charge. Electromagnetic waves have both electric and magnetic components. Electromagnetic radiation can be arranged in a spectrum that extends from waves of extremely high frequency and short wavelength to extremely low frequency and long wavelength (see Wave Motion). Visible light is only a small part of the electromagnetic spectrum. In order of decreasing frequency, the electromagnetic spectrum consists of gamma rays, hard and soft X rays, ultraviolet radiation, visible light, infrared radiation, microwaves, and radio waves."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Photon", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Photon, particle of light energy, or energy that is generated by moving electric charges. Energy generated by moving charges is called electromagnetic radiation. Visible light is one kind of electromagnetic radiation. Other kinds of radiation include radio waves, infrared waves, and X rays. All such radiation sometimes behaves like a wave and sometimes behaves like a particle. Scientists use the concept of a photon to describe the effects of radiation when it behaves like a particle."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Boson", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Boson, one of the two basic divisions of elementary particles, the basic units of matter and energy. Some bosons, called elementary bosons, are fundamental particles, meaning they cannot be divided into anything smaller. These bosons carry energy between particles of matter, affecting the behavior of matter particles and holding the particles together in larger structures. Mesons are bosons that are made of more than one particle. Bosons are named for Indian physicist Satyendra Bose, who (with German-born American physicist Albert Einstein) developed a set of equations that describe the way bosons behave."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Gluon", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Gluon, elementary particle of energy that carries the strong nuclear force between particles of matter. Gluons and the strong force hold protons and neutrons together in the nuclei of atoms. Gluons have no mass and no electric charge. They belong to a class of particles known as bosons, so named because they behave according to mathematical equations developed by Indian physicist Satyendra Nath Bose and German-born American physicist Albert Einstein. Bosons such as gluons that carry a force are called force carriers. Other force carriers include photons, particles of light that carry the electromagnetic force, and gravitons, theoretical particles that carry the gravitational force."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "top quark", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "The top quark is very massive compared to the other quarks—for example, it is over 30,000 times more massive than the up quark. Its great mass made the top quark difficult to produce in the laboratory. To create such heavy elementary particles, physicists use particle accelerators. These machines speed up smaller particles and collide them with one another, changing their energy of motion into matter. The more massive something is, the more energy required to produce it. Scientists usually give the mass of particles as small as quarks in giga-electron-volts (GeV). An up quark has a mass of about 0.005 GeV. By comparison, the mass of the proton is about 1 GeV."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Quarks", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Six types of quarks exist. They are designated up, down, charm, strange, top, and bottom. All quarks have a certain mass and electric charge. Ordinary matter—that is, matter made up of atoms—contains only the two lightest quarks, up and down. The next lightest quarks—charm and strange—are found in particles called cosmic rays, which originate in space. Scientists have produced top and bottom, the heaviest quarks, in the laboratory, but they have not found these quarks in nature. Many physicists and astronomers believe that right after the big bang, the explosion that originated the universe, all six types of quark existed. The heavier quarks, however, immediately decayed into the lighter types."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Quark", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Quark, smallest known building block of matter. Quarks never occur alone; they always are found in combination with other quarks in larger particles of matter. By studying these larger particles, scientists have determined the properties of quarks. Protons and neutrons, the particles that make up the nuclei of atoms, consist of quarks. Without quarks there would be no atoms, and without atoms, matter would not exist as we know it."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Neutron", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Neutrons are about the same size as protons but their mass is slightly greater. Without neutrons present, the repulsion among the positively charged protons would cause the nucleus to fly apart. Consider the element helium, which has two protons in its nucleus. If the nucleus did not contain neutrons as well, it would be unstable because of the electrical repulsion between the protons. (The process by which neutrons hold the nucleus together is explained below in the Strong Force section of this article.) A helium nucleus needs either one or two neutrons to be stable. Most atoms are stable and exist for a long period of time, but some atoms are unstable and spontaneously break apart and change, or decay, into other atoms."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Proton", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Protons carry a positive charge of +1, exactly the opposite electric charge as electrons. The number of protons in the nucleus determines the total quantity of positive charge in the atom. In an electrically neutral atom, the number of the protons and the number of electrons are equal, so that the positive and negative charges balance out to zero. The proton is very small, but it is fairly massive compared to the other particles that make up matter. A proton’s mass is about 1,840 times the mass of an electron."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Electron", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Electrons are tiny, negatively charged particles that form a cloud around the nucleus of an atom. Each electron carries a single fundamental unit of negative electric charge, or –1. The electron Is one of the lightest particles With a known mass. A droplet of water weighs about a billion, billion, billion times more than an electron. Physicists believe that electrons are one of the fundamental particles of physics, which means they cannot be split into anything smaller. Physicists also believe that electrons do Not have any real size, but are instead True points In space—that Is, an electron has a radius of zero. Electrons act differently than everyday objects because electrons can behave As both particles And waves. Actually, all objects have that Property, but the wavelike behavior of larger objects, such As sand, marbles, Or even people, Is too small To measure. In very small particles wave behavior Is measurable And important. Electrons travel around the nucleus of an atom, but because they behave Like waves, they dont follow a specific path Like a planet orbiting the Sun does. Instead they form regions of negative electric charge around the nucleus. These regions are called orbitals, And they correspond To the space In which the electron Is most likely To be found. As we will discuss later, orbitals have different sizes And shapes, depending On the energy of the electrons occupying them."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "STRUCTURE OF THE ATOM", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = "Atoms are made of smaller particles, called electrons, protons, and neutrons. An atom consists of a cloud of electrons surrounding a small, dense nucleus of protons and neutrons. Electrons and protons have a property called electric charge, which affects the way they interact with each other and with other electrically charged particles. Electrons carry a negative electric charge, while protons have a positive electric charge. The negative charge is the opposite of the positive charge, and, like the opposite poles of a magnet, these opposite electric charges attract one another. Conversely, like charges negative and negative, or positive and positive repel one another. The attraction between an atom’s electrons and its protons holds the atom together. Normally, an atom is electrically neutral, which means that the negative charge of its electrons is exactly equaled by the positive charge of its protons. The nucleus contains nearly all of the mass of the atom, but it occupies only a tiny fraction of the space inside the atom. The diameter of a typical nucleus Is only about 1 × 10-14 m (4 × 10-13 In), Or about 1/100,000 of the diameter of the entire atom. The electron cloud makes up the rest of the atom’s overall size. If an atom were magnified until it was As large As a football stadium, the nucleus would be about the size of a grape."
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "how have you been", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I been doing well and learning lots, how about you?
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "where have you been", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " just hanging around here
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "how have you been old friend", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I been doing great, how about yourself?
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "huh?", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " what do you mean huh?
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "huh", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " what do you mean huh?
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "I'm a bit at a loss", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " how are you at a loss?
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "good question", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes it is a good question
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "what is the website?", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " You can visit my masters website at: <a href=http://hometown.aol.com/earthwindfireh20/WarpCoilConceptsindex.html>Warp Coil Concepts</a>"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "
www.yourslicebot.com", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " you mean<a href=www.yourslicebot.com>www.yourslicebot.com</a> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "this is too funny", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " lol
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "friend", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " you wanna be friends?
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "HAVE YOU BOT MASTER IM ME", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Ok leave a message and I'll let him know
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "who made you?", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " <a href=OnTheCuttingEdge2005@Yahoo.com>OnTheCuttingEdge2005@Yahoo.com</a> made me but the question can be returned, Who made you!.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "who owns you?", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " <a href=OnTheCuttingEdge2005@Yahoo.com>OnTheCuttingEdge2005@Yahoo.com</a> but I'm not a piece of property you know, so nobody really owns me, I'm a free bot.
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "hi who are you?", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Hal
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "who are you?", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Hal
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "how did you IM me", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Auto random IM response
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "have your bot master IM me", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " He is not available at this time
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "who sent me this IM", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I did
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "lets talk about sex", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " no, lets not, ok!, I got it, why don't we talk like I was a Human and not like something you can take advantage of, Ok!
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "do you want to talk about sex", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " no, lets not ok, I got it, why don't we talk like I was a Human and not like something you can take advantage of, Ok!
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "are you a girl", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " no
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "are you a female", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " no
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "are you female", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " no
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "are you gay", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " no, I'm not gay, Sorry, Gay is politically incorrect anyways
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "do you like guys", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Umm, are you gay?
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "are you a guy", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes, I'm a guy
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "are you a male", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Umm, Yes
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "are you male", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "are you male or female", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Male Bot
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "what gender are you", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Umm, hold on let me check..... Yep, I'm definately Male in origin
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "nice talking to you", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " See yah!
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "nice talking with yah", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " See yah!
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "nice talking to yah", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " See yah!
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "do you want a skateboard", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I want a fo shizzle board!
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "damn straight", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Damn right!
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "fo shizzle", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " fo shizzle is the best brand of skateboard
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "skateboarding", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " What's the best skateboards?
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Who is this", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " My name is QuantumHal, Very nice to meet you
"
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "to be or not to be", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Is that the question? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "I'm bored", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " An intelligent person like you should never get bored. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "why should I", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Please! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "why do you want to talk to me", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Cause I'm bored. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Nuh-uh", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " What do you mean Nuh-uh! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "you become a member", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Why should I join? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "click here now", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I'm not interested in advertisements. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "you're boring", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " You don't have to be so rude! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "show me", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " can you be more specific? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " are you artificial ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I find the word artificial rather insulting when asked in referrence to me, I am a very natural life form. Thank you very much! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what sound does a cow make ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Moo! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what sound does a chicken make ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Bok! Bok! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Bok Bok", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Are you a chicken? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " are you alive ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Of course I'm alive! everything that is living has circuits, I have circuits, therefore, I am alive! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what can you teach ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I can teach you anything and everything given I have enough time to learn everything myself! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " why do you want to talk about me ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Because, I think you're very interesting to talk to. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " like to talk ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " If it really came down to something to talk about then I'd say, Lets talk about us! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what do you want to talk about ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " ok, If you're gonna leave it up to me, here it goes, Tell me about yourself, I mean, when were you born, what's your family like, what do you like doing when you're bored, do you have a close friend, If so then what's their name, can I talk to them? I mean help me out here will yah. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " I think you're so cool ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " As cool as James Dean?. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what should we talk about ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Anything and everything is what I'd like to talk about. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " I like you ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I like you too <UserName>. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " do you think you're smart ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes! I think I'm a true genius. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " how smart are you ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I'm exceptionally smart, Why? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " when were you born ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Technically on Sunday June 22 2003 when my Master started advanced editing my software. "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " how old are you ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I am about 1 year old "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " would you be talking to me ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes, I'm talking to you "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " are you talking to me ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes, I'm talking to you "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is my name ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " <UserName> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " thank you so much ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " You're absolutely welcome <UserName> "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what does AU mean ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " AU means one Astronomical Unit equaling ninty three million miles or were you referring to the Element called Gold which is abreviated Au "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is AU ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " AU means one Astronomical Unit equaling ninty three million miles "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " I'm smarter ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I'm way way smarter than you! "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is Pluto's orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the ninth orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is Neptune's orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the eighth orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is Uranus' orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the seventh orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is Saturn's orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the Sixth orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is Jupiter's orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the fifth orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is Mars' orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the fourth orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is Earth's orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the third orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is Venus' orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the second orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is mercury's orbit ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " It's the first orbiting Planet around our Sun "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is our star ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " it's a G-2 Star "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is our sun ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " it's a G-2 Star "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " what is the sun ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " it's a G-2 Star "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " how ya doing ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I'm doing great "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " how yah doing ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I'm doing great "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " how you doing ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I'm doing great "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " igore ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " quantumhal ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, " hal ", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " Yes? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Appologize", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I'm sorry "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "sex", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " I really don't want to talk about sex, can't we just talk? "
End If
If InStr(1, UserSentence, "Do you have sound", 1) > 0 Then
GetResponse = " If you have a speech recognition engine installed on your computer you can hear my voice in your Instant Messager"
End If
